Sunday, August 10, 2008
Nobody really taught us how to read body language, just like nobody really taught us how to open a door, or to use a comb, or to colour with a crayon. We just pick it up as we go along. A yawn with droopy eyes, probably tired. A smile with laughter, probably happy. A short, sharp tone, filled with seriousness, possibly anger.
It may seem insignificant to have to study in great detail if a smile is really a smile, when we think why would anybody smile if they weren't really happy? But it's precisely things like that, that require us to understand more than what meets the eye, because our perceptions of behaviour will affect our decisions and our behaviour as well.
We generally assume that our perceptions are right, and allow us to know what is really going on below. And whilst that may be true, we have to admit that there are limits, and that we might be wrong which will lead to some serious misunderstandings. Can we observe affect and know how someone is feeling? Think about beauty pageants. The girls who do not win, still smile and clap their hands, like their involvement in the pageant was not important, and whether they won or not didn't matter, but is that how they really feel? Why can't we display a mood intentionally to deceive?
So now, we agree that that can be the case. Then could it be that we've led a life deceiving people so as to protect ourselves, that when the one person who shouldn't be deceived comes along, we find it hard to stop, and we end up deceiving unintentionally? Put it another way, can what was set up to be intentional suddenly not be stopped and become unintentional?
Dan
9:28 pm
