Monday, January 29, 2007
I spent the whole afternoon today playing board games in YFC today. Some kind of work I have huh? Waste of time you say?? Well, it's to prep us in case we ever have to use these games as a bridge to connect with our students. Then we'll have to be able to teach these games as well as play them!! Ha!! Not such a waste of time after all now is it? This week I have a lot of contact work to do, as well as rock climbing!! Twice in 5 days!! How fantastic is my job?? Don't you just regret not having chosen this over the other jobs that crossed your mind? You get to grow A LOT spiritually, you get to evangelise like you would never have, you get to play games you would have never known existed, you get to meet people you never knew walked this earth, you get to touch lives, and you get paid!!!
Ok, I know I sound quite money minded, but really I'm not. Or at least I think I'm not. I feel like this week is just going to be fantastic. I just know it.
Dan
11:42 pm
Sunday, January 28, 2007
A story was told of a candle maker who made coloured candles for a living. One day there was a black out, and the whole house was dark. The candle maker said to his wife, "Fear not, I'll get a candle from the back and light it up." So he went to the back and opened the drawer. As he reached for the first candle, it said, "No! Do not light me now, I'm meditating on what it means to be a candle so that I can shine brightly later on." The candle maker then reached for the second candle, and it said, "No! Do not light me now, my gift is in singing, not in burning." And it started to sing, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...". The candle maker then reached for the third candle, and it said,"I am ready, for my gift is burning brightly for you." (Sorry Alvin I made a few changes)
I think it is very obvious what this story is driving at, and also obvious what the question is going to be. Which candle will we be?
Today during church, I felt something was wrong. Maybe it was because I was just tired. But I don't think so. During the worship, I felt something was wrong, in my heart. Then I looked around me, and I saw people lifting their hands to worship, I saw people with hands together. I saw that almost everyone was looking at the screen. I felt something in my heart, but I did not know what it was. And of course, I could not worship properly after that. I could not help but just look at the kind of worship state that the people in the hall were in. Then Daniel Foo came up to speak, and I remember one of the first few things he said really hit a raw nerve. I cannot remember what was it exactly that he said. But the sermon was about Achan's sin. He highlighted three main points about sin. Sin hurts. Sin affects others. We cannot hide from sin.
Then he also mentioned that there are consequences for our sins. And this week at YFC, we were also talking about sin, and I asked the question, we all know that we will face judgement for our sins, whether its "the hidden things of darkness" (1Cor4:5) or "the counsels of the heart" (1Cor4:5). But the thing is, we are aware of these sins, and therefore we made it hidden things, or counsels, but what if we are not aware of something that we did. What if we did something, or said something, and we thought that it was right, but in reality it is wrong? Because if that happens, then we won't know it's a sin, and so we won't make it a point to repent from it, because we think it is right. Then I thought again, and I realise that we sin everyday. There is not a day that goes by, where we never sin, for even if we think we did not sin that day, that very thought is a sin. So you see what I'm saying here? We are in a very dangerous situation.
But today, Daniel Foo was talking, I could not help but think about all the sins I've committed in the past. Or at least of all the things I know are sins, that I've committed in the past. And doubt started to fill my mind. I felt a sense of guilt as I left the church, well maybe not guilt, just not peace. Then as I was out with Alvin, Es, and dre, I started to think, this is a very comfortable life I lead. Then when we were going home, I noticed the conversations that took place in the car. Slowly changed as one by one we left the car, till it was just Alvin and I who were in the car. We started to talk about the sermon, and what we felt, and learnt. About 3 hours out for lunch, and we only talked about the sermon and what we learnt in the last 10 minutes before I reached home.
Is your heart still cold? Is it not yet stirred? Has the evil one gone into your heart, and taken the word away (Luke 8:12), that you now feel indifferent when you hear a message?
Dan
4:31 pm
Saturday, January 27, 2007
This week was terrible. I lost my contacts again. Those interested ones of course. I had this new guy on Wednesday, who seemed interested in the gospel, but he didn't want to admit anything because his friends were around him. I thought I could reach him, but the first time I called him, his dad picked up the phone, and then he didn't reply my SMS the next night. Eric said that this guy is lost already, and I wouldn't like to think so, but I guess Eric is right. Did you know that he was a police inspector during his NS days? And this really shows, because his skills in reading people is really good. He just spent one afternoon with Alvin today, and he could tell quite a few things from just one hour.
Anyway, my week wasn't all bad. Seven days of contact work and definitely there were some good times. Like I met this ITE student, Thomas, who is really into DOTA, and he wants me to play with him tonight, and tomorrow night as well. Anyway I'm glad I've past that phase in life, so now when I play it's really trying to work on him, and get him to open up. My brother on the other hand?? Still addicted. How do you get someone who is hooked up on DOTA, off it?
Dan
12:04 am
Thursday, January 25, 2007
I sat in at James's EBS session today, and I wondered when I would hold mine. Technically I would be having one tomorrow with Alvin, but it's Alvin, I think he's more interested in solving his problems, than he is with learning about the Bible. Somehow I feel it's a discouragement to help him, because I've been trying for years to no avail. Some people tell me that I cannot help everyone, and that sometimes time is what they need to realise that their problems are beyond any human help. Others tell me that time is not the solution, because if Jesus comes back tomorrow how would you feel? But all my effort is not yielding any results!! Not with Alvin, not with the hopeful contacts I've made. Now I feel like my time at ProjectServe is not productive at all because I've not made as much "progress" as some of the other servants. How I find the strength and motivation to go to work everyday knowing that I've not saved a life condemned for hell, I don't know. This is so demoralising.
Dan
11:41 pm
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Last night I had to rush a presentation for Wednesday, and I had to spend the whole afternoon trying to rearrange the data, because there was some error in the files that were uploaded onto the yahoo groups. Understand what I'm talking about? Never mind, I don't care, I'm just going to talk anyway. The presentation was very very dry, and I feel we would have done so much better, had it not been for the fact that we had to conform to the lesson plan that had already been laid before us. But for a analysis presentation that had to be done in 2 days, I'm proud of the work we created. I also realised today, while walking home from the bus stop that I had not seen my parents for more than 24 hours, because I left home early while they were still in bed, and came up when they were already in bed, and today I left again, while they were in bed. And now my dad has gone overseas, so that's going to be another 24 hours before I see him again. Not that I miss hm a lot, since I didn't see him much when I was in Australia, or when I'm going to be in Australia, but it's just an interesting thought.
I had contact work today again, and it was very refreshing. I had not done contact work in like 3 days, and I felt like I was new to the whole concept again. I talked to less than 10 people, but my aim today was to evangelise to two people, which I did!!! To 2 boys from Pasir Ris Sec. And one of them seemed pretty interested, but because his friends were around, he did not feel like he should commit. So I'm going to call him tonight, so pray for me, and him. The 2 boys who indicated they were interested last week, were such a disappointment. One gave me a fake number, and the other took up a CCA that consumed all his free time.
I could not help but just imagine that day of judgement. When these people will go to hell for not believing, and they say to us, I knew you, I was your friend, I even had lunch with you!! And through it all you never once told me about this Jesus who saves!! Imagine that?? Scary isn't it? Then I thought of these people who reject us now. What will they have to say when that day of judgement comes? I tried. I wanted to help.
I'm glad I'm working. It's really taking up a lot of my time, and mind, and I feel like because of work, I treasure whatever free time I have left, which is quite a lot actually, but I still treasure it nonetheless. I'm going to be leaving in less than a month. Do you know?
Dan
9:28 pm
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The saga has ended. Today marked the day where the truth would be revealed, and it was. I feel so much better inside me now. Somehow I think it wasn't so much of what her response was that really got me worked up so much, but more of just getting it off my chest. You tell me that I could have used words, you say I could have just given it straight. But what if I'm the type who must make it grand? Or at least something a little more?
I have a presentation I have to put together by Wednesday, and now all my team members are working their butts off to get the data settled by tomorrow so that we can have something to show. I'm worried for the presentation, I'm worried that Eric would not let me go from the meeting because of the presentation. I'm trying to get the priorities sorted out in my head, but I can't seem to figure out which is more important? The ITE meeting, for the ITE staff only? (and I'm only a temp there). Or the presentation, where they need me, and it's due on Wednesday. Eric also smsed me on Sunday to ask if I could make it for both meetings. Doesn't that carry the implication that if I have something more important to do, I don't have to go for the meeting? Why can't these things be clearer?
I envy Pugsly's life. It's only confined to the 2nd level of my house, he does his business as he pleases, he has his fleas and ticks taken care of, dinner is never in short supply, he has a small corner in my cupboard with my old clothes as comfort. He has no work pressure, no relationship difficulties. But then again, he's a dog.
Dan
2:29 am
Sunday, January 21, 2007
I hate it when bikes take up one whole lane. I hate it when impatient drivers drive behind me. I hate it when I want to do work, but I don't know how. I hate it when I read the Bible and I don't understand. I hate it when I feel tired during sermons. I hate it when I'm late for appointments. I hate it when people make me wait. I hate it I'm thirsty and I've got no water to drink. I hate it when I don't know what's to happen. I hate it when my guesses of the future are right. I hate it that I think so much. I hate it that you don't know how I feel. And I hate it most of all, because I try to make it so obvious and yet you act as though nothing is happening, when inside me a world of emotions torment my sleep every night.
Is it your fault that I hate so many things in this world? I don't think so. 2 days ago, Kun Cheng and Jeremy were running for a train, and I shouted to them not to run, but to have faith that God will provide a train when we get to the platform. They didn't listen. So I walked behind them, and when I got to the platform my train had come just in time. Then when I was walking to the bus stop I said the same thing to myself, have faith that God will have a bus there waiting for me, and true enough there was one. It may have been coincidence? Perhaps. So the next morning I did the same thing and when I reached the bus stop outside my house, 14 just came. Then when I was rushing home to get to YC on time, I suddenly got this idea that the car wouldn't be there and that I would be angry. And true enough the car wasn't there and I was angry. But I told myself, I already knew, so why am I so angry? That night, which happened to be last night, I suddenly got this feeling that things would not work out. And now I cannot help but question myself. What if I am right? And everything seems to tell me that I am right.
Today, Dan Foo mentioned something about prayer. That if we really wanted something, and we ran out of words to pray, we sing worship to our king, in our prayer. And then i reflected back on times when I prayed, and realized that there were countless times I prayed like that before, subconciouslessly slipping into worship during prayer. And I also realised that these prayers were usually always answered, or I was usually always satisfied with the outcome in the end. Last night, I prayed a prayer, just like that. I prayed until I ran out of words to pray, because my hearts feelings just could not be expressed anymore. But I prayed something I'm not sure was right praying for. Was Bruce Almighty right? That God cannot interfere with freewill?
Dan
6:14 pm
I'm hurting. Is it worth it? I tell myself that I know what the end result will be. I speculate, and the more I think about it, the more I start to think that it is really true. She has absolutely no idea. And then I spring this thing on her. The odds aren't very good I must say. And judging from past experiences, gradually is always the best option, but I tried. I really did. But she was busy. And now she's so free...Why am I not seizing the opportunity? Why is it that I always put myself down in my head. What have I got to lose? I always ask myself that. And that is the very question I ask myself too before I do my StE. What have I got to lose?? Then I'm remembered by what do I have to gain? Riches in heaven. And what happens if this person decides not to believe?? I'll still have my riches in heaven, because I did my part and planted the seed. But what do I have to gain now? Everything my physical heart desires. And what do I have to lose? Everything my physical heart desires. Then you tell me not to worry about the physical and to focus on the spiritual, but I tell you that if that were true, then why did God not just give us one heart to look after? He gave us a physical body, a physical mind, and a physical heart to use, and He entrusted us the duty to look after our own body. If we are hungry, we eat. If we are tired, we sleep. If we long for love?
2 more days till I find out what the answer will be. I learnt in a time management lecture at YFC, that we should live life according to the opportunities in our life, rather than by the deadlines we have to meet. Then I wonder, what if opportunities don't present themselves? What if the opportunities have to be created? I mean, that is the whole idea behind StE isn't it? We go to the streets to create that opportunity to meet. Tomorrow, I have the chance to create an opportunity. Yet here I am typing to you, telling you how I feel, rather than typing an sms to meet you telling you I want to create an opportunity. Will you accept? please??
Dan
5:02 am
Saturday, January 20, 2007
I'm feeling down. Don't ask me why. It's for the most stupid reason in the entire world. Or maybe it's not. She's down so I'm down. Valid? I guess not worth it right? She doesn't even know I'm down. Actually nobody knows I'm down. Well, somebody knows I'm down. I'm worried. For stupid reasons. Not worth worrying over. Yet I know that it bugs me. But I can't find anyone to tell them to, because it's too inside me to be told. Does that make sense? Well, if it all doesn't make sense now, maybe come Monday it will. I'm not even sure if what I'm doing is the right thing. Then again, whose to decide what is right and wrong when it comes to issues like this right? Anyone knows what I'm talking about? If you do, advice would be quite...welcomed I guess. But then the last time I took advice from men, it didn't end too well. Maybe this time I should take advice from God. What is your Word God!! Reveal it to me, so that I may make a more informed decision!! The dilemmas in life. Haiz...
Dan
1:34 am
Friday, January 19, 2007
So many things to do, so little time to do them in. Why did God give me so many things and only 24 hours to do them? Actually it's not really a lot, it's just that I like to procrastinate. Terrible habit. We had a good talk on time management today. How timely. It was a pretty good talk. I think one of the better ones I've heard since my secondary school days.
We hit the streets again today, but with the main goal of evangelising. I was very nervous at the start, I was practicing with Amos in EH over and over, the Bridge to Life. But each time I did it, the more I felt like I was forcing it upon him. So I asked Eric for an alternative, and he showed us one example, by sharing with a pair teenage boys. I can't exactly remember their response...but I learnt a lot from that one sit-in. His version of the gospel was very very subtle, I'm not even sure if the two boys understood what he was doing. But he ran through all the five C's. Creation, Curse, Condemnation, Cross, Call. I'd explain it here, but I'm really too tired to. Anyway, it tried to run the process through my head, and it was quite confusing. So I decided I'd have to try it out myself. So I approached 2 boys, and both turned out to be Christians. What are the chances!! So we were about to leave, and I saw this upper sec boy walking by, so I just approached him, and then I had the opportunity to share the gospel!!! I was so scared that I would do it wrongly or miss something out that would turn him off, but I really got him interested, and now he wants to know more!! I agree with Eric, that when we evangelise, it is a lot to ask a non-christian to just say the sinner's prayer like that, and so we both agreed that a more gentle approach, but more in-depth approach would be better. So we'd explain the whole gospel, about creation, sin, salvation, and finally we'd ask if they'd be interested, and if so, we would share more with them, before they make a decision. That isn't diluting the gospel is it?
The balloons are on their way. Are you ready for them? I know that you will be shocked, and I know that you will have a hard day come Monday, but it's not my intention to frighten you, or make you uncertain, but I just have to let you know, and somehow just saying I like you, isn't enough. So please just consider this before you say anything. I don't even know if you will read this. Otherwise I'm just making a fool of myself.
Dan
2:30 am
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Relationships make life so complicated, and yet without them we will find ourselves going crazy. We want simple lives, without the hassle of having to deal with the different relationship problems out there, yet somehow they just seem to find us. However, some of us just yearn for these problems to be in our lives. We realise that these problems will never really go away, and so we embrace them, not necessarily with open arms, we learn to live with them. Maybe being mature is not just all about the way you think, and the way you talk, and the things you do. What if there was another side to maturity? What if being mature meant that you knew how to deal with your relationships in a more sensible way rather than just running from it, or waiting for something big to happen?
Today I had to make contact with the ITE students. I was quite apprehensive at first. These people looked like gangsters, they were what society considered "rejects", the "hopeless" people. But I pluck up the courage, and went to the first pair to ask them to help me fill up a questionnaire. I was almost preparing myself for rejection, and ridicule, maybe some hokkien words I might not understand too, but it was not so!! These guys were uber friendly. They asked me all sort of questions, and it was like we were really friends. After that, my impression of ITE students changed totally. I received quite a few rejections, but this first that I met gave me the courage and perseverance to just go all the way, because there are some nice people in the ITE. Today I'm going to be doing StE for the first time. I heard that PArts,SAM and Media would be joining, so I guess I won't be the newest fish in the block already =) 3 days worth of experience, that's something money can't buy.
Do you know it is you? Do you know how I feel? I suspect you do, but you dismissed the thought. It's right under your nose, and you seem like you don't have a clue. Give me hint please, or something to work with. I'm not great with this relationship stuff, so please forgive me if I'm blunt. I like you...
Dan
10:24 am
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
I have so much in my head, so many things I'm not certain of. I want to share them all, but it's so much to handle for one brain. Today we were doing consolidation at Ang Moh Kio. It's a time where we reflect on the message and what we learnt during Monday's message. And through out the whole thing, many things struck me, but two things I think I should share. First is, that sharing the gospel is not a light issue. We are warned in Revelations not to dilute the gospel in anyway, and anyone who edits it in anyway will be severely punished. This got me thinking. How am I certain that the gospel I am sharing is the whole gospel, and nothing but the gospel? How can I be certain that if I share the gospel with Kevin today, that those very same words I used to share the gospel will be the exact same words I use to share the gospel with Tom 2 weeks later?? Because, if it's not exactly the same, I would have diluted it in a way already would I have not?
And second. What is our calling? We always want to know God's calling in our lives, and we know that He speak through the Bible, and all we need to do is read. But how do we know when we are being called? How do we know that we are not imagining it? We won't receive dramatic callings like Samuel or Moses did, but a calling is a calling nonetheless. Are you certain that what you are doing is God's calling in your life? How do we know when we are being called? Is it just a feeling? I got a feeling that it was going to rain today. I felt like eating at SumoHouse today. I feel like banking is not the way to go.
Today was round two of contact work at Bedok Interchange. I got another 20 contacts again, but this time I felt like I managed to connect with more of them, and it felt easier. I got 20 contacts in about 1 and a half hours, versus the 3 hours I took the day before. It felt easier as well. Maybe I've gotten the hang of it. But tomorrow and the days to follow will be mostly street evangelism. A new challenge. Am I up to it? Only time will tell.
Dan
11:38 pm
I hit the streets today doing contact work. It was very sudden because I totally did not expect it. I saw my schedule and the afternoon was empty, so I thought it was free for me to use, but I guess there were other plans. So I was thrown to the streets with 20 odd sheets of paper to do a questionnaire. I thought it'd be a piece of cake, I mean how hard can it be to ask people to fill up a questionnaire? I know I used to be the type of person to ask these people to go away, how ironic that now I should be the one to be rejected by others. Anyway how hard can it be to be rejected by strangers?? So I hit the streets, and the first people I asked rejected me of course. Anyway, to cut the long story short, I had a gruelling 3 hours of contact work, before I finally got the hang of it. But today, I gained confidence, and experience, so tomorrow I expect something better. I also need to learn the art of starting a conversation.
Ok, I was with Jeremy at parkway doing our contact work, and we came across several rather interesting responses. Like you wouldn't think anyone would openly claim to be a satan worshipper right? Well, Jeremy and I clearly did not, and we were totally not prepared. But that was just one of the few interesting responses. After a day of tiring work on the streets, you'd think that they'd give us a break and let us go home right? But guess what?? We had to run!! Yes, run!! In YFC!! Apparently, to be with youths, we need to have the energy to keep up with youths, hence a weekly exercise.
Today was especially tiring. I think we ran like 3 plus km? We also stopped halfway and did chin-ups, and sit-ups. I can still do my 12 chin-ups so I guess I've not de-proved that much yet, but the running was a real torture. I'm so gonna die for my reservist man. Anyway, tomorrow is contact work again!!! Pray that I'll have strength, and that I might be blessed with the opportunity to share the gospel. My friend managed to today, and I felt like I did not do enough compared to her...is this right?
Dan
12:03 am
Monday, January 15, 2007
Well, my little Chai Chee stint is over, and I'm glad it is. Those kids were driving me insane. OK, well I guess that's an overstatement, but it really was like handling lost sheep, with the energy of monkeys. Which reminds me, they are lost sheep in a way. So the second day at Chai Chee, I expected a more well-behaved crowd, but I guess the Lord decided I could handle another bunch of rowdy boys, so no prize guessing, I got the worse bunch of boys again. Jeremy who was with me facilitating, was kinda at the lost right from the start, I guess he didn't have the army experience to handle them yet, but he'll learn...haha.
Then there was the Science Centre trip on Saturday. I think it was really cool that the 5 boys who were all in my group, were the 5 boys I took in those 2 days. I really had very high hopes for Yi Sheng, and William his friend, and by God's grace, I was assigned to take them, and share with them if the opportunity arose. Of course, I would have requested for them even if they were not assigned to me :P At the end of the trip, I got Yi Sheng to sit down, and started to ask him, but we had to board the bus before I could even start. So I figured...ok nvmd. Next time perhaps. But in the bus, I felt this really strong tug at my heart, saying that there may not be a next time, and why not now?? You got them at the corner of the bus. Just ask. And so I did. I asked if they would let me tell them about Jesus, and they said yes, and I told His story. I think I may have told too much because they almost said the sinners prayer, before I brought up the issue of parents. But they are interested to know more, and I think that's fantastic.
Bible study over the weekend was great too. I learnt 2 equations which I don't think I'll explain here. But I'll leave you to figure out for yourself first.
Faith + Love + Suffering + Perseverance + Character = Hope (Rom 5:1-11)
Gift of Righteousness + Confidence in Life + Grace = Reign in Life (Rom 5:17)
Dan
1:34 am
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Today was the first day in the school. I don't know if it was just the students, or maybe it was just me, but I was so very tired by the end of the day. I didn't have any school teaching to do, nor did I have to give out any homework, all I had to do was to take them for an afternoon of orientation, and that was enough trouble in itself. The boys were so active!! I had to do the gospel links half way through the event, and when I was doing so, these two boys seemed as though they weren't interested in what I was saying at all, not even acting interested. It was quite discouraging. Especially one of them, he kept talking and talking, and so very easily distracted, I had to literally hold his head to me, while I talked to him at times. Thankfully the other wasn't so mischievous. So the afternoon came and I was excited to spread the gospel, and I was trying to hard to restrain myself from saying "Jesus" or "God" or even "Heaven". All I could, and did say was "my Creator". I had to constantly remind myself that I must not scare these kids off now, and at the end of the day I was not sure if I had did the correct thing!! Had I shortchanged them of the gospel??
Then, just as I thought it was all over, I did the final gospel link, not expecting much response. But I still hung onto that little glimmer of hope that I had left, and then I said, "The problems we did just now, could you solve them? No. That is because we are all limited, we are all human, and there's only so much that we can do. We need someone who is NOT limited, someone who is all powerful who can solve all and any problem. Do you know who that person is?" (I have to admit that at this point I didn't expect an answer) Then one of the boys said, "The one up there? In heaven?" (I did not know what to say!! I was caught so off guard) So I said the first thing that came to mind, "Yes!! The one in heaven!! My creator, He has the power to solve all my problems, he is not limited!!" (And I left it there) I know you probably won't see how this should excite me, but I got this kid to realise that there is a higher being!!! Now I just pray so very hard that he would go to the science centre trip this sat so that I can follow up on him.
So to all of you who are reading this, and who know what I'm doing, please pray for this boy, Thean Yi Sheng, that he will come this sat for the science centre trip, and that he will have a mind full of questions for the Lord, and that I would be able to answer him, and hopefully share the gospel with him!!
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
Do we have faith that this boy will come to know the Lord?
Dan
10:54 pm
Today was another "dry" day again. We had talks, and sessions of practice on how to evangelise. It's like gospel sharing 101. But I guess they have to do this so that we can quickly get on the streets and start gaining experience. Which then leads me to my next point, next week we start street evangelism!!So if you happen to see on the street evangelising and all, do come and say HI!!, unless I'm with another person (obviously evangelising). But before we hit the streets, we'll have a "practice" session with the students of Chai Chee Secondary School, which starts tomorrow!!How exciting! I cannot wait to get down there and mingle with these kids. Although I do not know how these kids are gonna respond, but I've got this strange feeling in my heart, like a very positive light. So I think I'm prepared for tomorrow!!
I've also met 3 people from Melbourne, two of whom are in Melb Uni. They are both in OCF, and I think that's what I'm going to join when I get down under. I realised that in uni there will be orientation where we'll get a chance to meet new faces, and make new friends, but I think that these friends won't last for long, well because I've had personal experience, but if i join a "CCA" type of thing I'll have more friends, and what else better than to join OCF. That stands for Overseas Christian Fellowship, incase you didn't already know.
Ok, pray for me tomorrow, I start evangelising at 1230pm!!The warfare has begun!!
Dan
12:19 am
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
I was feeling very down yesterday. As you would have probably read in my entry. I was questioning why? Why did God allow something so wonderful happen to me, and not allow me to be able to stay till the end?
This morning when I woke up, I dragged my feet to work. I did not want to have anything to associate with that place, which i had come to love, because then, that will make leaving it so much harder. Then I remembered something that I learnt during the Adventure week, in Acts 20: 13-38, where Paul was telling the elders of the church of Ephesus to be careful against false prophets and wolves. But it's not what he was saying that struck me, but the situation he was in. He was going to leave for Jerusalem, where he already knew that "prison and hardships" would await him. Yet, he found it in himself to give these elders courage to face the storm. And now, I am going to leave soon, and I know that when I come back, the Project Serve I knew will cease to exist. Paul did not spend his last few moments with them saying goodbyes, and crying about the past, he spent it talking about the future, and encouraging them.
The devil wants me to feel this way. He wants me to feel down so that I'll have no mood to share the Gospel!! I may be wrong about all that I've just spoken, and I may be wrong about this feeling which I'm having. But one thing I'm sure I'm not wrong about, is that this Thursday, Friday and Saturday, I'm gonna do my best and share His grace =)
Dan
12:07 am
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
My first day at work!! It was rather dry. Loads of talks after talks after talks, telling us about rules, and what we can and cannot do. I really can't wait to get started on the real stuff!! I know I said that joining YFC I'd have no regrets, and that I was really glad that I could join, but I think I've started to realise my first regret of the year. That is, I've joined a programme I know I won't be able to complete. Charmaine and Charlene joined, and my mum urged me to join, and I joined, and I loved it!! I loved it so so very much, I now hate it that I won't be able to go for the mission trip at the end of the programme!! Then you say, well there will always be other mission trips. BUT THIS ONE IS WITH YFC,AND THIS ONE IS NOW!! I'm feeling so sad now, just thinking about it, just talking about it. All the friendships I've made, all the people I've met. They're all going to go their separate ways in about 9 weeks time, and 10 years from now, when we look back and think about the Project Serve we served together, will you still remember me?
Will you remember the time we rolled in the mud? Or the time we spent an hour rafting in the sea? Will you remember the time we were the only team that rock climbed? Will you remember the time we walked our last leg of the race, just talking about food to drive us on. Will you remember??
I know it has only just begun, but i cannot help but feel that sadness inside me. WHY LORD WHY!!!
Dan
1:13 am
Saturday, January 06, 2007
I just came back from my Adventure Week!!! It's the beginning of a new year, and I spent it the best way possible!! The camp was conducted by YFC, and it was fantastic. We had outdoor games everyday, and everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, was into everything, and so friendly, and so open, and so sharing, and so close, there wasn't even time to be shy!!! From the first minute we got in, we started to run around the field playing icebreakers, then we found out that we had to COOK OUR OWN MEALS!!! Now that was a shocker, but it was very very very fun!! Of course the first meal didn't really have much standard, but as the days went by, the meals got better and better!! And we had sharing, and devotion, and I think i learnt more about the Bible in those 3 short days, than a month in church!! Which I firmly believe is wrong, but I guess that would be my fault. There was "The Race", which was like army all over again,but more fun of course. Actually it was much like the amazing race. A very successful amazing race. I really just feel so rejuvenated now after this camp, and all ready and fired up to go out and share the gospel!! WHY!!!
If you ever have a few months holiday, you MUST sign up with Project Serve at YFC. And I was not told to say this!! I really believe it!! Although I've not really gone through it yet, but I know that the end will be wonderful.
So...How's everybody??
Dan
5:47 pm
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
A new blog for a new year!! And for one, I am proud to say that i created this blog MYSELF!! It's actually quite simple, I cannot believe I had trouble figuring this out earlier. Ok, so the first thing on my New Year Resolutions List is off.
I was reflecting on my list last year, and I saw that I only achieved half of what I had written. But thats not the point. The point is that I achieved something. So now I'll blog my New Year Resolutions here, and this time next year, I'll check back to see how many of them I have achieved.
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS LIST:
- Create my own blog
- Start reading more books
- Share Christ with 5 ppl
- Learn how to play the guitar
- Learn how to cook
- Learn how to use the computer
- Learn how to fold a shirt
I think 7 is enough. I always feel the more resolutions you create, the less room you leave for spontaneity, and creativity. So that's it!! Happy New Year to me, and to you!!
Dan
4:20 pm