Monday, October 29, 2007
What can we do and what should we do.
What should we do and what we ought to do.
What we want and what we need.
Some of life's greatest dilemmas, often related to some of lifes petty issues. Why?
Right versus wrong.
Good versus evil.
Ethics and law.
Is having an analytical mind sharpened by some of the greatest education institutions in the world a good thing?
We read so much into the little things, and forget about things which cannot be quantified, calculated, or predicted.
Passion. Interests. Love.
The ten disciplines of the world aim to explain, study and predict human behaviour, why?
So that someday someone will chance upon the great knowledge of how to control mankind?
Sad to say that I'm part of that world studying to explain, predict and control human behaviour.
I'm sorry honey.
Dan
5:10 pm
Daylight savings was today, so that means that the time difference between Singapore and Melbourne is now 3 hours. Last semester I don't recall being so stressed about work. Perhaps it is a self-fulfilling prophesy? People are saying I'm stressed this semester, though I never really felt the full effect of it. I don't think I'm stressed as much as I am worried. Accounting this semester has been terrible. I've been clueless in almost 90% of the tutorials, very demoralising there. My assignments have been borderline passes, a miracle there. And to top it all off, the exam is a hurdle, with a history of a high fail rate.
Having painted a very gloomy picture, the only good thing I've heard about the subject is that the exams have been getting easier since 2005, which was the year with the hardest paper. Last semester I could go to the library at like 9am, and work till 11pm or 12am. This semester, I find it a chore to wake up at 9, and I usually stop study at 5 or 6. But I've covered all the work, and yet I feel I'm missing something. I guess I'm just not used to the changed lifestyle yet.
Dan
12:02 am
Saturday, October 27, 2007
I prayed for good results, and told Him what I expected. I prayed for efficiency in work, and told Him what I wanted to achieve. I prayed for my stressful load to be lifted, and told Him what was weighing me down.
I got the results I prayed for the specific grade. I was not impressed. I finished 3 weeks of accounting in one morning and understood, and finished off the last chapter of econs an hour after lunch, and I was not impressed. It's a Saturday afternoon and I'm doing my laundry, and apart of me knows that everything will turnout fine, because I've covered my material and I've got a week to practice, I don't feel the exam stress, and I feel like life is good again, and it doesn't seem like none of the things I felt was weighing me down, is weighing me down anymore.
But I'm not feeling like what I thought I should be feeling. Last time things were "off" and I wanted them "on". Now things are "on", and I feel like they are too "on". When prayer is done right, the power of prayer is scary.
Dan
5:02 pm
My results this semester have been what I prayed for. But somewhere inside me I'm not really satisfied. Yet I know that I shouldn't be complaining. One more week to exams!! And I'm starting to lose the mood to study. I think that the last accounting tute was what killed me. After weeks of intense study for the three subjects, during macro, and finance I've been able to connect the dots, and see the links but I was clueless in accounting. So what did I do after tute? Nothing. That's right, no study. I just watched friends to feed my down self, and now I'm fresh to finish off accounting. 15 DAYS!!!
Dan
9:39 am
Thursday, October 25, 2007
JUNGLE BOOK ROCKS!! Today I chanced upon another childhood film of mine. I used to sit in front of the television and just bob my head along to the songs. Those were the days. When LD's were used instead of DVD's, and cassette tapes instead of CD's. I've been ploughing through my work, and today I found the song to destress!!!
Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life
Now when you pick a pawpaw
Or a prickly pear
And you prick a raw paw
Next time beware
Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw
When you pick a pear
Try to use the claw
But you don't need to use the claw
When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw
Have I given you a clue ?
Dan
11:12 pm
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
A letter in the ST forum commended a church for setting up a "free" clinic.
"I hope other churches will provide the same service as well.
There is no need to ask for Government subsidy because as far as I know, the money collected at weekend masses is more than enough to defray the cost of medicine.
We should not depend on government subsidy in order to serve the poor and the needy. "
What do you think about using offering to set up "free" clinics?
Dan
3:26 pm
Monday, October 22, 2007
The weather in Melbourne has been crazy. It was a blazing 31 degrees yesterday and today after the rain its now 15degrees, and I haven't even begun on the wind yet. The weather is enough to cause mood swings I think, not to mention the stress of exams. Exam stress I feel would be easier to manage if I don't have to put up with noisy, inconsiderate users in the library "whispering" across tables. There are sections of the library where they can go to talk. I guess it's something I'll never understand.
This is the last week of the semester!!! It seems so fast this half of the year, and in less than a month I'll be quite free with 3 of my 4 papers out of the way. I was talking to a friend last night, and just casually asked how revision was, because no matter how much I did, I always seemed uncertain. She described this period for her as exciting but scary. And I couldn't agree more. Excited that the exams are coming, and it'll soon be the holidays, but scary that it's all happening so fast, we're not sure if we're prepared. I guess there's only one way to find out.
2 months and counting...
Dan
5:29 pm
Saturday, October 20, 2007
A small boy has asthma and because of it, he cannot get a puppy which is what he's always wanted since he saw it in the window. His parents know that they cannot get him the puppy because it will cause an allergic reaction, and he would not really enjoy it if he had it because it would bring him much pain. But how do you tell a small boy and make him understand that the reason he cannot have that puppy is because of him, and not because of other things?
A typical boy meets girl, and he falls for her. She on the other hand doesn't feel that strongly for him and wants just for the two of them to be friends. But it's not that he's a bad person, or that something on her part really, she's just not attracted to him. But seeing as how blinded by "love" he is, she finds it hard to tell him just that. How do you tell a blinded man in "love" and make him understand that the reason they cannot be together is because she's just not attracted to him?
A small boy sees the latest gaming console in the shop and he wants to have it so badly. He starts to picture all the fun he will have with it, at parties with friends playing the latest games. But such an advance piece of technology does not come cheap, and his parents know that buying him this console will mean sacrificing some other form of consumption to keep the family in a financially OK situation. Furthermore the economy is slowing down, and dad's job isn't as secure as one would have hoped. How do you tell the small boy and make him understand that the reason he cannot get the console is for financial reasons?
Christian evangelist meets non christian at a cafe. They start to have a talk about religion and the evangelist shares the gospel with the non christian. Non christian is having trouble understanding the free gift of God. But he understands that if he does something bad, he will be punished. He finds it hard to believe that someone else would take that punishment for him. How do you explain to the non christian and help him understand?
Only one of the four scenarios most closely represents a dilemma, but the final question is still the same. How do you explain to someone who is blinded by their initial feeling for a worldly object like toys, technology, fashion, love, or their understanding that there are greater things happening, and if they refuse to see things in the bigger picture, their impulse actions or understanding will have an adverse impact in the future, such as financial difficulties, health issues, life after death.
Dan
1:14 pm
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I've been wrecking my brain to try and cram 3 subjects into my brain the past couple weeks, and I've been quite successful I must say. Everything seems clearer now, and during these last few lectures I can finally understand what the lecturers are talking about. I've dove so deep into the pool of work that I've cut out soccer, a lot of computer time, and replaced it all with books. Now whenever I've got free time it's into the library to study. I've spent so much time with books, that only today did I realise my hair was long and messy after it was pointed out to me. I need to have a hair cut. I can't wait for exams either, cos that will mean an end to this insane life of study for now. A short term solution.
How do you know if you've studied too hard?
When you start using complicated economic/finance/accounting jargon to explain the simple things in life. For example:
"My rent is going to increase next year, I think moving out will be cheaper, but I can't seem to find anywhere as convenient. Plus the start up cost of moving into a new apartment is expensive."
After translation:
"A booming property market has sent property prices, and rent on the rise, that I am thinking of moving out to find a cheaper place. However, the opportunity cost associated with moving to a cheaper location is too hard to quantify. Performing a cost-benefit analysis seems to be the best way to come to a sensible decision, but what price do you put on convenience?"
Dan
4:25 pm
During all my years of education I've always wondered why am I studying this subject? What use will it do me in my future? Such as my career and stuff. That was probably the reason why I disliked science that much, along with geography. History was interesting, like listening to a good story telling. Then I came to university and I thought, finally, something which I can put to good use. After all, people get jobs based on their majors. Today I revised how to reconstruct a cash flow statement, and I was thinking, this is so useless, I'll never do this again. It has nothing and I mean nothing to do with anything I'm interested in.
Dan
1:13 am
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Some people say I've been studying too hard, but I guess when uncertainty is amidst, one would prefer to engage in activities to minimise risk in the future. If I could sign a futures contract to fix risk in the future I would. If anyone gets my analogy. ANYWAY, I think I've been studying too hard too. Why? Allow me to explain to you the Cobb-Douglas Production Function of studies and you'll understand.
Commonly this function is used on capital stock, to predict economic growth in a country. For low levels of capital stock, each increase in capital stock will lead to larger increases in GDP, till marginal product of capital stock kicks in, resulting in diminishing increases in GDP for each increase in capital stock. SO, for low levels of revision done on one subject, each chapter of revision done will lead to larger increases our understanding of the subject until marginal product of revision kicks in. Then for each chapter of revision done, we add smaller increases in our understanding till we reach our potential level of understanding. This makes sense because topics covered last in the course will still be fresh in your memory while topics covered earlier will be dusty.
Have I studied too hard???I'm experiencing marginal product of revision!!! What's the solution? Increase potential understanding. I can't increase the chapters to revise because there's a limit on that. So I have to increase my total factor productivity, i.e. my study method. OK, now I've studied too hard.
Dan
5:39 pm
Confidence is such a strange thing. Why is it that last semester I was confident about my exams and this semester I'm like water flowing in a cup, one day I'm up and one day I'm uncertain. I tried doing things the same way. Last semester I started revision about the same time when the exam timetable came out, and I did that too this semester but it feels different. I blame my timetable. Last semester I had two big papers back to back, with gaps between the next two to study. This time, I have 3 big papers almost back to back, and I've not finished revision for any of the subjects. It's like being a jack of all trades and a master of none. I hate this feeling.
Dan
12:18 am
Sunday, October 14, 2007
I was just browsing through the channel news asia website and I saw this headline "Singapore holds first award ceremony for cancer survivors"!!!!! What is going through your mind now? I'm sorry but the first thing that comes to my mind is Golden Globe, or the emmy's. I mean how can you set aside an award for cancer?!??!?! Then what happens to the losers? "Sorry but you lost your life, you don't qualify for this award. How can you give an award for fighting a disease. The whole concept is just wrong. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should not give them recognition, but the recognition is like a newspaper article commending them. But an award?
Imagine the doctor going up to the podium saying and this years nominies for the cancer award are... What if these award spreads to other disease?
Dan
10:32 pm
Back in Singapore we had chicken rice for $3, phone bills not more than $40, taxi cost $2.50 starting fee, the cabbies always have their meter on, buses wait for people running to catch the bus, train comes every 5 minutes, shops open till 9pm, EPL matches at reasonable late night times on a affordable SCV, and the list can just go on and on.
Here in Melbourne we have chicken rice for $7.90, phone bills that cost $30 or 50 recharge each time, taxi starting fee is definitely higher than $2.50, and some cheater cabbies don't on their meter and try to charge you more, trams rather stick to their time schedule and not wait for running people, trains take forever arrive, shops close at 5pm, and chase you out at 4.45pm, EPL matches are screened at insane early morning times on an expensive Foxtel, and they play a crazy game called footy which, from what I see, is a mix of rugby, soccer, basketball, and American football. I'll never get that game.
My point? If that is not yet obvious is that different countries have different ways of life, different standards of living and I can go into a whole econs thing which I won't, but everything is relative. Why is it then, that people exclaim $400!! for a bike when most bikes cost that much? I can't be the only person who understand CPI, inflation, standard of living, economic growth, market competition right? Otherwise why would the government announce to the public GDP growth per quarter, unless it is assumed that people have a general idea of that those figures mean??
Dan
3:47 pm
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Finally my exam revision can get started without being interrupted by assignments. Going through the material is quite refreshing, yes I know sounds very geeky. At OCF yesterday most of the conversations I engaged in began with, "so how's your bike?" The bike's good. I was talking to Clement and he agreed that though pricey, mountain bikes are typically of that value $400 plus. And I know that in Singapore or Malaysia you can get it for $400 plus too,m and after you do the whole exchange rate conversion it'll be cheaper but only marginally, because for exchange rate to have a large impact on a commodity, the value of that commodity will have to be very great, talking many thousands or millions.
I've been covering foreign exchange markets in lectures, and it has been interesting. Finally the only market I can relate a bit to. OK well it's back to revision now. I've been having a craving for pancakes every time I revise. Thank God I can cook proper pancakes now. The initial stages would end up black. Speaking of cooking, I'm very proud of my culinary skills this year. I began the year like a dodo in the kitchen, and though I'm not very savvy still, but I know enough dishes to survive a week. I think a few more semesters and I might be able to write my own cook book. OK stress is calling.
Dan
2:02 pm
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
OK I was going to blog about something interesting, but I lost my train of thought half way. So I'm not going to blog about anything instead.
Dan
11:52 pm
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
I was thinking of buying a bike early this semester. Reason was because I got tired of all the walking and the thought of this just being the first year and having at least 2 more to go did not help. So I asked around and found out from friends that bikes cost $150 to $200!! To me that is expensive. Then I heard that it could be gotten cheaper out in the suburbs, hence I put off the idea of getting a bike till then.
Today I resolved to get a bike once more, and spent an entire night convincing myself that $150 to $200 for a decent bike for 3 years was a good investment. So down I went to the bike store in uni, because I figured that I'll probably never go to the suburbs just for the sake of a cheap bike, to ask for a quote, though really my heart was set on the bike. I went in and the guy told me he had bikes from $300 to $700!!! Even the cheapest bike was not within my budget. I was shocked, and was trying to do some quick math in my head, but only two things came to mind. First was the opportunity cost of $300, and second if I got a bike for $300, what would the depreciation be calculated per unit travelled. I know very sad thinking. Thus, I left the shop dismayed and unsatisfied, quite certain that a bike would have improved my life.
Then at the clinic with Rachelle (she sprained her ankle), I calculated the cost in different scenarios of taking the tram versus having a bike, then taking a tram while having a bike. And realised that $300 for a bike was actually quite cheap. So I hoped into the nearest bike store, and to cut an already long story short, I got myself a bike. Not sure how much it'll cost yet since I'm picking it up tmr, but I reckon nothing more than $500.
Didn't know there was so many things to know about bikes. Back home it was like $80 for my first bike at the market. Those were the days...when in line skating was called rollerblading, GST was 3% and Goh Chok Tong was the prime minister. I feel old.
Dan
8:16 pm
Monday, October 08, 2007
This has the potential to be a long post so I'm sorry in advance.
During bible study on Friday we covered the events leading up to Jesus arrest and there was a passage where Jesus told the disciples that one of them will betray him, and each said "surely not I." Of course we know that Judas Iscariot was the betrayer, and a hypocrite for saying that, but the interesting parallel drawn from that was that as Christians we think that we are not that bad, and we say surely not I. Are we hypocrites? Perhaps not in the same league as Judas, but similar nonetheless.
When Jesus was praying on the hill alone before his arrest, he prayed three times. He knew what was going to happen, and what had to be done, but he still persevered in prayer to God. Do we ever show such perseverance in all situations, especially those where we know the end result, or we know what ought to be done. I feel so ashamed.
Finally the spirit is willing, but the body is weak. My own insight on this is that we often know what is right, and what is to be done, but we lack discipline, we lack motivation, we lack perseverance.
"She sat alone in her cell feeling helpless and in despair. She yearned for him to come, to burst through those metal bars and carry her out, but she knew he didn't know where she was. She didn't know how much more she could stand, the other prisoners screaming and yelling. The pressure was building up, and each minute felt like one closer to disappointment. Had he really no idea what was going on in her mind, after all that they had been through?
He started at the entrance of the castle, and fought his way up. He knew that she had to be at the top, thats where the princesses were always held, but he had no idea. He kept fighting his way through pushing the guards aside one after the other, until finally he reached a hall with two doors. Which one should he choose!!If only she were here to help him figure it out, but he was on his own this time."
I'm sorry.
Dan
2:21 am
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Today I had my first encounter with people from a cult!! Of course I had no idea, and yes yes I know it's not something to be very proud of, but I think it was a good experience. We always hear in church how these are the last days, and the signs that these are the last days. Incidentally that was the topic of bible discussion last week. In Matthew, Jesus warned about false prophets in the last days, and I always had this picture of someone like Elijah who will come with a staff, or maybe a walking stick since its modern days, and proclaiming some twisted view of the gospel. But now that image has changed drastically. Now I picture a normal man, like the guy standing next to you at the bus stop, and talking to you nicely in a non offensive manner, proclaiming a twisted but yet believable view of the gospel.
Scary indeed, if you don't find that scary then maybe you should meet these cults, false prophets, and see for yourself, but I think only those who are deeply rooted in the word of God will be able to see and tell the right from wrong. The whole night before I met these cult people, I was feeling uncomfortable, a strange feeling that kept telling me it was wrong, maybe the holy spirit prompting. And when I was in their company I felt so strange, and after that at OCF, I felt a sense of peace, calm. It felt so good to be in the company of God once again. I treasure it all more now.
EXAMS ARE COMING!!
Dan
12:30 am
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
I'm so frustrated with my finance assignment. I feel anger building up inside me, yet I do not show it physically because there's no one to rant to, and no one who actually understands. Is this healthy? I want to let it all out. I want to break something. But nothing I seem to do is enough. I collate websites, I research books, and yet I have nothing. I have to create something out of nothing, and I know that next year, or the year after that, I'll learn it, and curse again why I was tested on something beyond my level. Then I know that being in university is not the same. We're not spoon fed, we're expected to self-learn. But how are we supposed to learn if our questions are not being answered by our lecturer!! Damn German.
Now I'm in the middle of my finance assignment and I know its crap. The song yellow by coldplay repeats constantly in my head, and it seems to be what is helping me keep my cool before I blow some heat onto some unfortunate inanimate object. Perhaps its the pressure, I want to revise!!! I want to understand!!! But I can't. WHY?? Because of the stupid Australian share market!! Stupid IPOs. Stupid websites which are so complicated. But I'm throwing in the towel just yet because I know somewhere inside me that after this storm I'll be able to ride the other.
All the frustration, all the anger, all the energy, and I have to SIT here and type this essay because during the holidays some German was too lazy, or self arrogant to give out hints for the essay. If there's even such a thing as self-arrogant.
In conclusion, I'm pissed.
Dan
11:22 pm
Monday, October 01, 2007
If we knew God was to come in 2hours, how would our priorities, lifestyle, and relationships change? That was a question in our discussion in our bible study group on Friday, and I guess every cell group would have gone through this question at one point at another. In a serious discussion I think many would choose to share the gospel more, start to lead a more "holy" lifestyle, in hope of some redemption. Did what I just say sound right to you?
Because it shouldn't. We live our life hoping for redemption? Why do we need too when we have Christ? We should live our life knowing we already have redemption in Christ. Why do we have to wait till the last minute to share the gospel? I reckon one possible reason is because we know that what we're doing is not in line with God's priorities. That doesn't mean we can't aim for good grades, or money. But what are our motives for such goals? For the praise of God's glory or for our own personal gain?
This weeks sermons in OCF and church had a link for me in terms of application. Prayer. Do we make decisions on what will bring God praise?
Dan
10:32 am