Saturday, June 28, 2008
The world views singleness as a form of failure doesn't it? With shows like Sex & the City, Desperate Housewives, with cliche lines like "What would have been". But instead of questioning if singleness is a failure or not, I want to ask if couple-ness is a success.
You sacrifice 50, 60 years of your life to be together with another person, is that worth it? You buy a house and spend your lives together, a bed which you share from "I do", a car where you chose the car brand, and she chose the car make. You have a honeymoon, kids whom you watch graduate, grandchildren whom you spoil. And at the end of it all, you share one last kiss before you leave this world.
Because truth be told, both will not leave this world at the same time. You spent 50, 60 years together, to have to spend the last 10 alone. Suddenly, the house is emptier, the bed is too big, the car isn't right, the honeymoon is just a photo album, the kids have their families, and the grandchildren are experiencing teenagehood. That other half isn't there to comfort you when you needed it the most, because all that is left is a memory. A memory too good to erase, a memory too painful to recall, a memory too hard to articulate.
But like a coin there is flip side to the story, because what if you had to leave first? Could you breathe that last breath knowing what you'll be leaving behind? The pain too much to bear, makes death all that more welcoming. The yearn for heaven never stronger, where you could quickly forget this relationship, take away the last 50,60 years like it never happened. I don't want to remember.
If I could see the future,
Of one thing what would it be?
It'd be to see how this would end,
Between you and me.
Dan
8:39 am
Thursday, June 26, 2008
So I woke up this morning thinking today is a good day, the sun look goods, the sky looks clear. A great day to go out of the house. So I cooked breakfast, toast, ham and scrambled eggs (very nice right??), and then I took the lift down to meet the buyer, so that I could purchase my Business Finance textbook. Waited at the mail area for about 10 minutes, then I walked quickly back so that I could get home and finish preparing for songleading tomorrow. So you can imagine how rushed I was since I always take quite awhile to prepare for songleading. Well the lift didn't quite agree with me, and decided to stop moving at level 3.
Yup, stuck in the lift for about 10 minutes, and the first thing I thought of was the video clip on Duane's blog about some guy who got stuck in the lift for like 3 days. But never mind, I calmed myself, sat down, and read Fisher's separation theorem. So sad right? It was the only thing to read anyway.
Dan
1:33 pm
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Went for a movie marathon today. The first in a very very very very very long time. And relatively cheap as well, since it was at Nova (budget theatre). It's sad that with escalating prices, things like movie marathons will soon become a thing of the past. Something I will probably have to describe to my child. I miss $7 movie ticket days.
I spent so long in the cinema today, I barely saw daylight! Of course, I woke up late too (it's the holidays!!), and the sun sets earlier too (winter...) so really, not my fault that I saw like less than 5 hours of sunlight? But I guess once in a long while is fine right?
Was walking in safeway, and there was a sign put up at the rice section, saying that due to a disruption in rice supply, some brands may not be available. My first reaction was, prices are going to rise. Is that normal? Shouldn't the first response be, buy all the rice from the brand I want now before no more!! OK, that's the Singaporean response, but you get the gist.
Dan
2:08 am
Monday, June 23, 2008
Holidays!!! Finally here. Not as excited as I would have hoped but I guess it beats studying all day for exams. I was wondering the other day, the reason I stayed here, was because I wanted to save money. Referring to air fare, but would I really have saved money? Airfare is about $900 odd two way? And when I'm in Singapore I'll probably spend money shopping, eating, just like I would here. And I'll probably spend more on shopping and eating here, since prices are higher, and the exchange rate is stronger. Then I'm having road trips and camps, that's like AU$700 right there, maybe more. And maybe another $100 odd for small travels to the suburbs. With the exchange rate at an average of 1.3, I think it's safe to say the plan to safe money has backfired. Parents should really be educated on the cost-benefit analysis model before making their decisions.
On a side note, and to copy a line from Friends,"Nothing rhymes with Loon, so I'm screwed anyway."
Dan
11:46 am
Friday, June 20, 2008
I'm boring.
Dan
11:47 am
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Exams are almost over!! so fast. I can still remember days in school, leaving the airport in Singapore...Anyhow, I'm looking forward to the winter holidays. Planned a lot of stuff to do (lying in bed a whole day also counted as stuff). Still need to find an internship. Job hunting is fun in a way, but it sucks that the stupid HR people are too lazy to type a simple e-mail to reply. I should go up to the HR faculty and give their lecturer there a piece of my mind, teach him to educate his graduates properly.
Although, in my process of applying I've been thinking, should I remember the firms that rejected me, and in my future never apply to them, because I was not good enough for them from the beginning. Of course it would limit my options, but if I became good, and they wanted to poach me...I guess it'd depend on how much they offer. Everything in this world has a price after all.
And just for the record, I see economists everywhere, I know that they have jobs in banks, in government agencies, in private sector companies, but how do these economists end up there!!! I can't seem to find that opening very well.
Dan
11:00 am
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
I just ended my first exam!!! One down three more to go. Not much to celebrate about seeing as how the next one is a week away. The paper was kind of what I had in mind. I was actually quite pleased with myself that I had spotted 3 of the 5 questions correctly, and so I was relatively prepared I suppose. Then when the paper was over, I turned behind to my friend to find out that the paper was just like the past exam the lecturer posted on the web and my first response was "There is a past exam!!!" I felt so cheated. I could have been so much better prepared. This is the price you pay for assuming. Now I understand what my lecturer means when there are costs in assumptions.
More on the exam experience. The lady seated next to me was so irritating. Barely into the first 5 minutes of paper, and I had only written like 3 lines, when she flipped her page so loud, like proudly boasting to the rest of the exam hall that she had already written so much, and was faster than the rest. So in the heat of the moment, I flipped my pages loudly too. It was like a race to see who could write more and flip more. Then I finished my third question and was surprised that there was no flipping pages to irritate me anymore, and tilted my head slightly to see her scratching her head. No more words to say, hence no more pages to flip. I felt a minor taste of victory, which was of course dashed with the thought that there was a past exam paper I did not do!!!
On a separate topic. I was at lunch and was saying how there are so many types and combinations of coffee in the west, latte, mocha, cappuccino. You can have it iced, flat, with foam, no foam, extra foam. I the coffee nut, since I don't drink any coffee, argued that you could just name any type of coffee and it'd probably exist.
Dan: There are so many types I can just name one and it'll be there, like latte no foam.
Rach: I don't think there is a latte no foam.
Dan: Fine, latte extra foam then.
Rach: Hmmm...
Dan: Latte, got foam??
Dan
4:47 pm
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Exams tmr!!!! I just realised that I am now in the middle of my course! My third of six exams for my degree. It's so fast. Have I said that too many times? It's because it really is too fast. I can still remember my feeling for my first exam. How unsure I was, and how I kept ranting on about uncertainty.
If I had tomorrow's paper with last years mentality I'd flip, but some how its strangely calm this year. I want to attribute it to something I did, keeping up with readings, doing tutorial work, making sure I really know my stuff, but truth of the matter is it's God work. I have no idea how I'll fair tomorrow. There were no past year exam papers to judge from, there were no model answers for the tutorials, there aren't even any lecture slides for the subject! Just what I have written down in lectures and class, and I think it would be very normal for me to freak out just about now. Nothing to lean back on, but I'm not.
What would I ever do without God.
Read the Singapore headlines today. Another dead NS man. So sad. And he was doing things that I had done before. Can't help thinking what if it was me.
Dan
10:09 pm
Monday, June 09, 2008
Exams this wednesday!!! I feel like I've studied enough, and know enough, but its strangely unsettling. I blame the lecturer for not putting up past year papers, but that's life isn't it? No such thing as past year papers at work. You have to be on your toes. I don't like study life, but I'm not looking forward to work life very much. Sadly these are the only two options.
Dan
1:03 am
Thursday, June 05, 2008
A couple of random thoughts before I leave for lunch. Been studying in the library lately, and it feels so much more relaxed than last semester. I think the library has this aura around it that gives students who study in it confidence for the exams... maybe its just me.
Friends fans!!! Recall an episode where Monica and Chandler are guessing who Joey has a crush on. It was just a funny episode, but I think its more fun when its done in real life. And I think I've successfully converted my darling dear into a friends fan. Right??
Social Security is a waste of the governments money. They should never have thought of it in the first place. It's apparently for people who cannot support themselves in their retirement. My thoughts? They deserve it. They should have worked harder, and realised that their time would come. Why should we people who work hard pay higher taxes for these people who couldn't be bothered?? But I guess that now that it's already been implemented it'll never be removed because the government that does will never be re-elected again. Damn politics, and yet I can't deny that I might have a future career there.
Dan
12:42 pm
Monday, June 02, 2008
SWOT VAC is here!!! It's so fast. I know I've been going on about the exams, but it's quite unsettling. Somehow it feels different this semester. I blame it on my hardworking-ness. Last sem, I went with the flow, and was lost in like half the subjects, and the last 3 weeks was spent just chionging, trying to catch up. So I guess there was that big increase in knowledge before and after, a sense of accomplishment. This sem I kept up with work all the way through, because people were going on about how hard year 2 was going to be, that in the last 3 weeks, I don't seem to need much catching up. The before and after isn't so great anymore. Makes sense? Maybe it's because I haven't done any past year papers yet. But its too soon, TOO SOON.
Last night was super foggy. Fog so thick I couldn't see more than 10 metres infront of me clearly. I was in my room, and had left the heater on, so I thought that the windows had misted up. But then when I tried to wipe the "mist" away, nothing happened. Then I saw that the buildings outside had "disappeared". Is that giving a good description of the fog?? No? OK, watch Harry Potter, and whenever the dementors came floating around, a thick dense fog would follow them, that's the kind of fog we had last night. Hmmm, maybe we had dementors too...
Dan
10:24 am