I hate it when bikes take up one whole lane. I hate it when impatient drivers drive behind me. I hate it when I want to do work, but I don't know how. I hate it when I read the Bible and I don't understand. I hate it when I feel tired during sermons. I hate it when I'm late for appointments. I hate it when people make me wait. I hate it I'm thirsty and I've got no water to drink. I hate it when I don't know what's to happen. I hate it when my guesses of the future are right. I hate it that I think so much. I hate it that you don't know how I feel. And I hate it most of all, because I try to make it so obvious and yet you act as though nothing is happening, when inside me a world of emotions torment my sleep every night.

Is it your fault that I hate so many things in this world? I don't think so. 2 days ago, Kun Cheng and Jeremy were running for a train, and I shouted to them not to run, but to have faith that God will provide a train when we get to the platform. They didn't listen. So I walked behind them, and when I got to the platform my train had come just in time. Then when I was walking to the bus stop I said the same thing to myself, have faith that God will have a bus there waiting for me, and true enough there was one. It may have been coincidence? Perhaps. So the next morning I did the same thing and when I reached the bus stop outside my house, 14 just came. Then when I was rushing home to get to YC on time, I suddenly got this idea that the car wouldn't be there and that I would be angry. And true enough the car wasn't there and I was angry. But I told myself, I already knew, so why am I so angry? That night, which happened to be last night, I suddenly got this feeling that things would not work out. And now I cannot help but question myself. What if I am right? And everything seems to tell me that I am right.

Today, Dan Foo mentioned something about prayer. That if we really wanted something, and we ran out of words to pray, we sing worship to our king, in our prayer. And then i reflected back on times when I prayed, and realized that there were countless times I prayed like that before, subconciouslessly slipping into worship during prayer. And I also realised that these prayers were usually always answered, or I was usually always satisfied with the outcome in the end. Last night, I prayed a prayer, just like that. I prayed until I ran out of words to pray, because my hearts feelings just could not be expressed anymore. But I prayed something I'm not sure was right praying for. Was Bruce Almighty right? That God cannot interfere with freewill?